Silly Stories: Stupid Sun

Sometimes I just have to write. And things like this come out. This was a stream of consciousness exercise, so if it doesn’t make any sense, that’s why. Needless to say, the sunlight in the window, and the song in the background were what kind of made me go “I’m feeling things and they need to be documented.” I didn’t make a single edit to the following piece past adding the actual song, and this explanation… but I feel like this would make an interesting monologue in a play or a movie if I ever write one that this… fits in…

“I keep my curtains open during the day. I keep them open not to let the sun in necessarily, but just so that I have some semblance, some basic idea of what time it is. I neglect the fact that my alarm clock is right behind my computer screen entirely, I use the outdoor light to give me an idea of “what time” it is, meaning “around dinner time” or “a decent time for me to take a nap” or “I really should be going to bed now.” Today, it was supposed to be rainy. It was. It was rainy… this morning. It poured this morning. It poured this morning, and I stepped in puddles, and my dripping umbrella made a puddle on the metro while I stood in a corner since there weren’t any open seats. But I was sitting at my computer this afternoon, and I was fooling around on the internet, listening to a friend’s cover of “Use Somebody” and this stupid beam of light kept hitting my silver bracelet on my wrist, and more beams of light flew all over the room… onto my keyboard, onto the wall, and into my eyes, and it was annoying. So I turned around to shut the curtain in a silent “Va te faire foutre, soleil,” and… I changed my mind. I sat there, listening to that song, staring at the sun shining through my window at me through a gap in the clouds… and I wanted to go to the window, open it, and stare out at the sun for a while. Sure, it might burn my retinas, but that’s all I wanted. Then I felt like climbing out the window to get closer, I wanted to jump out a fourth story window (fifth if you count the rez-de-chaussée)… and fly. I’m a creature of logic, a lover of physics. I know I don’t fly, I fall. I fall all the time. I’m a klutz, I need no windows to fall out of, I need no obstacle to trip over since air seems to do the trick… but I wanted to somehow become a modern day Icarus, make my own wings, jump out the window, and start my journey to the sun that showed up out of nowhere to taunt me in the middle of the afternoon. There was no sun this morning. There were clouds, rain, puddles… it was light outside this morning, it was daytime, sure, but there was no sun to be found. I didn’t think I’d see it today, but here it was, taunting me, flirting with my bracelet, with… me. The sun came out today, despite whatever odds I had set against it. Now it wanted me to come out and play… to fly, to be something…

I don’t have to jump out of the window to fly. I’m not going to jump out of the window. But I will fly.

I won’t fall either.”

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